sinnlos

das Wissen nichts zu wissen.
die Erkenntnis dass alles Gelernte nutzlos ist;
in einer Welt die genau darauf aufbaut.
sich etwas zu wünschen
und doch genau zu wissen,
dass dieser Wunsch nie in Erfüllung gehen wird.
ohne Freude aus dem Bett zu steigen,
um am Abend wieder genauso freudlos dorthin zurückzukehren.
inmitten von Menschen zu stehen
und sich doch so einsam fühlen.
ein Kind zu sehen
und aufgrund des Wissens über die Zukunft in der es leben wird
jetzt schon Mitleid mit ihm zu haben.

und doch manchmal nicht atmen können vor lauter Freude.
einfach zu grinsen ohne einen Grund zu haben.
zu seufzen um das Glück heraus zu lassen.
nicht schlafen gehen wollen um den Tag auszunutzen.
am Balkon zu sitzen und in den Himmel zu starren,
ohne an irgendetwas zu denken
und doch seine Gedanken hören zu können.
mit und ohne Musik zu tanzen.

das ist wohl die Sinnlosigkeit des Lebens.

just for them

endlich.. (klick mich)

Ich steige auf mein Rad und fahre einfach los ohne ein Ziel zu haben. Ich fahre durch die Stadt und an den verhassten Bushaltestellen mit den quetschenden Menschenmengen vorbei, vorbei an der Schule mit den Menschen die Angst haben, unter die Oberfläche zu schauen und den Lehrern deren Lebensinhalt daraus besteht sich an dem Seelenleid ihrer Schüler zu ergötzen. Ich fahre immer weiter, bis mir die Gegend immer bekannter vorkommt. Die Bäume auf der Seite der Strasse, die Strommasten die mitten in der Wiese zu wachsen schienen und das allmählich lauter werdende Rauschen des näher kommenden Flusses. Dann sehe ich sie schon, die Eisenbahnbrücke. Ich fahre bis zu der kleinen Aussichtserweiterung in der Mitte der Brücke und stelle mein Fahrrad ab. Ich gehe in die kleine Mulde und fahre mit meinen Händen die kalte bekannte Steinmauer ab. Wie oft ich schon an dieser Stelle gestanden bin und einfach nur dem Rauschen des Flusses gelauscht habe. Ein Grinsen huscht mir übers Gesicht. Ich beginne zu träumen, reiße mich doch schnell wieder aus meinen Gedanken und finde mich wieder. Ich atme aus und wieder ein. Ich mag diese frische feuchte Luft. Abermals beginnt sich ein Grinsen auf meinem Gesicht breit zu machen. Mit meinem Fuß suche ich einen passenden Steinvorsprung und steige darauf. Mit dem anderen erreiche ich schon die Kante der Mauer. Ich hebe mich auf sie, balanciere kurz und richte mich auf. Vor mir liegt nichts als das weiße Rauschen des Wassers unten in der Ferne. Ich schließe meine Augen, breite meine Arme aus und lasse meinen Kopf in den Nacken kippen. Ein wunderbares Gefühl. Ich stehe da, ohne einen Gedanken in meinem Kopf, ohne Angst zu fallen. Ich genieße das Gefühl frei zu sein. Abermals muss ich grinsen, diesmal lasse ich es zu, lasse mich von ihm erfüllen. Eine Träne entkommt mir und dann spüre ich meinen Körper nach vorne kippen. Ich fühle den Luftzug in meinem Gesicht, spüre das Flattern meiner Kleider, fühle die Feuchtigkeit in meinem Gesicht. Ich grinse immer noch, habe auch nicht vor damit aufzuhören. Das Rauschen des Wasser kommt näher. Dieses Gefühl, ich wünschte es einschließen zu können. Meine Gedanken verlieren sich in der Weite des Seins. Ich bin glücklich.

some time went by since I posted the last time..

much had happened..

it all started with magda's dirty shoe

after a comfortable talk-and-drink at helenes place we started our jorney

the first stop was the flat of lisa m. (left = lisa m. ; right = lisa g.)

when we reached the krebs, prisca was already wainting and together we shaked a little

unfortunately prisca had to leave and so we thought of the next place to visit..

.. that was then the stadtwerkstatt where lisa had fun with a beer bottle

stadwerkstatt was quite zaaach and so we went back to the altstadt and entered the bugs where we met lisa m. and lisa h. again. that was the last stop of this evening

on the next day my trousers smelled like 10 full ashtrays and so it had to aerate a little.
4 hours ago, lisa went to the hauptplatz again to meet hefner there to drive to vienna to celebrate a little nikolausparty with little children.

while recharging our energy for the next evening, we watched a cute video

then we made us on the way to a party at thomas and lenas place

it was quite gmiadlich..

after sitting and drinking and smoking and sou we went to the krebs again...

which was also gmiadlich; and then we went to the 'other krebs', which was the funniest part of the evening.

on the next day we were gammling all the time till we went to the gas station with this fashionable hats to get some food for helene..

elevator effect

sometimes in the past, not so far away, I had a dream, a very realistic dream.

I dreamed about a world. a world which is hold by three children, who wonder about everything, cause they were childs. the world is the most wonderful place. there's a pretty lake in the middle, a stony hill and a beautiful sea. the world only can be entered when one of them opens it in the middle of the hill. and the world has to be closed afterwords. through the world they got a magenta blue glittering and pulsing protection shield.

and now I have got a little piece of the world by me.

prisca, fuer dich..

the hymn of the world


goodbye world, we'll see us again soon..

you give me everything just with your breathing..

uhu, 2 days gwent by since I wrote the last time.
but there was nothing spectacular I had to post.

except yesterday.
yesterday I drove to linz to complete my history presentation and at half past eleven I went to conny and priscas place to inject conny a thromboses shot emulsion for her broken leg (actually it's not broken but I don't know exactly what wrong with it)
that was quite interesting.
and aftwerwards I sat in front of my pc till two o'clock in the night working on my presentation. quite good. :) (I know self praise stinks.. :P)

today I'm, like nearly every day, quite tired.
but also today I have to sit till in the early hours to fix my biology presentation. puh.
after school I went to the apartment where I got a delicious lasagna.
per fortuna, cause the food in the dorm today was nearly uneatable.
then I slept about an hour or something and then I went down in the cellar to have a play on the billiard desk with prisca. that was a quite good avocation from learning.
and even when I lost every game,(except one), I enjoyed it.

wuhu, the master of shootin every single ball in a completely wrong direction :P

the real mistress of playing billiard ;)

we like the balls..especially the full ones

now I'm sitting here again sighing and absolutely unmotivated for working that long and concentrated. and I'm also waiting for conny to call me for her next injection :D

good night, sleep thight.

Io devo fare pipi..

hej ho

I'm sittin here in the boring room, it's just another rainy sunday afternoon..
no, actually I'm sittin' here in front of the computer and it's saturday without rain.
but the tiredness nearly let me fall from the chair. (and that would not be so nice cause the floor is not really the softest one.. )

so, I am that tired because yesterday when I reached Weyer I met three friends of mine and they asked me if i'm interested to go with them to the Roadhouse. (that's nearly an hour away from Weyer)
and of course I was.
although we had to wait one and a half hour to come in, it was quite funny.
we even played pool billiard and tabletop football.
and today in the morning I found a pink labello in my vest which I found under a billiard table :D

all in all it was a really nice night and I can recommend the Roadhouse to everyone

--> just take a look at the Roadhouse

today I have already made two Advent wreaths which got pretty nice

actually I wanted to go to the Bertholdssaal tonight to watch Nowheretrain, but unfortunately there is no one thats interested to go with me, so I stay at home. doing nothing.

I hope you have a better activity planed for tonight and wish you much fun.

A presto

Freitag, 27. November 2009
a kind of Amelie and dubios sandwiches

(this blog should have been posted yesterday, but somehow my computer didn't want to upload the pics. hope you don't mind..)

puh, such an exhausting day.

normally Friday is a quite comfortable school day, but today it was really hard not to fall asleep.

playing the piano in the midday break helped me to cope with the tiredness.

although the piano in my school is very out of tune and some parts of the keyboard don't even work it's always nice to play on it.

the piano..

..with it's partly not-workin keyboard

afterwards we had to sit in front of computers for four hours. that's so exhausting when you are tired.

we are looking very motivated, aren't we?

and now school's over and I'm sitting in the dorm waiting to drive home. again two hours just sit and vegetate..

sigh.

indimenticabile

puh, you can't imagine what I experienced the last 2 hours..

amongst others I just found my soulmate.
it was quite terrifying. but also impressing.

fucking phat.
it's our world, prisca

:)


the truck, the sheep and the turtle.